I had a partially burst appendix when I was younger. I know that is kind of random to start with when the topic is becoming a momma, but it’s relevant to my journey.
Up until I was 38 years old, I was never able to get pregnant. I’m not sure that I ever even really tried, with mapping ovulation or taking temperatures. It just never happened. So after heading to my OB for my annual exam, I had told her that I was having a lot of abdominal discomfort. After an ultrasound, she noted that I had an extremely large cyst that would need to be removed. A routine cyst removal, of you will. Laparoscopic surgery, In and out, no big deal.
Well, it turns out that nothing was routine when I had my surgery. After her laproscopic incision, she immediately noted the massive amount of scar tissue and adhesions that had engulfed both of my ovaries and Fallopian tubes. The appendix burst was apparently the culprit for the damage reaped upon my reproductive organs. She woke me up from surgery and explained what she had found and that I would need a laparotomy instead. So basically a c-section, but without the baby. She mentioned that the risks included were that if my ovaries were compromised they may need to be removed. I obviously was nervous about losing the very organs that make me female and all the glory that goes along with that. But I didn’t know any other way, so she sent me back to the OR and went to work.
After waking up, I was told that my left ovary and Fallopian tube were basically strangled by adhesions and scar tissue and she needed to remove them. She began to explain that she was able to salvage my right ovary, although it too was covered with scar tissue. She explained that she was able to clean it up as much as possible so as not to have to remove that as well. However, she said the scar tissue will most likely return and the chances of ever having kids were very slim.
I have always been a firm believer of “everything happens for a reason”, so I truly just let go of if the idea of ever having kids and tried to just be happy that I had 2 amazing nephews that I loved like they were my own and a couple Great Danes that were like kids anyway.
Time passed and I was introduced to Arbonne. (Www.arbonne.com)
Arbonne gave me the opportunity to detox my body and diet through their 30 day detox program. I ended up losing almost 30 pounds and never felt better. I had also fell madly in love with yoga and practiced 5days a week.
I clearly remember attending a New Year’s Eve Kirtan music and yoga class. As I prepared for my practice in child’s pose, I can vividly remember feeling like I went into a trance with the beautiful kirtan drums playing and my breathing. It was the most peaceful and calm feeling I can recall. It probably only lasted a couple seconds, but it was pure bliss.
It also turned out to be the night my son arrived as a merging of cells. I found of that my own little miracle was coming on February 3, 2013. I will never forget, it was when the lights went out in the Superdome in Nola. It had to have been 9 at night when I took what was to be the first positive test of 8.
I remember the instant positive pregnancy test and holding it out as proof. I was in complete shock and elation and then shock. I ran to the drugstore and bought every single pregnancy test they had to offer. I wanted to make sure those stinkin lot numbers and expirations were good to go. Minus screwing up a couple of the tests, they all read positive.
The next 9 months were literally some of the best in my life. I LOVED being pregnant. I gained 24 pounds, had the most amazing belly bump that I would accentuate with bows when I worked. Absolutely zero problems other than being considered a geriatric pregnancy 🙄 I was almost 40 so that automatically means high risk.
I’m not sure my words will ever truly describe how I felt when I found out. I have made some ridiculously stupid decisions in my life, and for some reason, I felt like god had given me redemption with this child. I literally felt like he was giving me my own miracle. What did I ever do to deserve this blessing? This indescribable gratitude that I felt for my creator did not allow any room for second guesses on this divine perfection. I knew immediately that if I were to ever foresake what I believe to be a perfect creation from my creator through second guessing his perfectly designed little human by administering vaccines would be like my version of giving god a flip flop face slap. I knew then, I WOULD NEVER allow his immune system to be driven by anything but natural immunity. So I prepared by educating myself on how to honor the immune system through diet and lifestyle.
My little wingman miracle is going to be six in September. His given name means “full of goodness”. Anyone who has had the true privilege of meeting him, knows he completely lives up to his name. He is the most kind, empathetic, loving, friendly, respectful and HILARIOUS little boy I could have the privilege of being mommy to.
He and I have sung “Humble and Kind” since he was born. It will forever be his song, as he already exhibits all the traits Tim McGraw so beautifully sings about.
What a gift, what a miracle. What a wingman I have.
Much love and respect.
Xo -e
The Underground Momma 