What you allow is what will continue….

We can all apply this to so many different areas in our lives. Wether it is quitting a bad habit that doesn’t honor or serve you, being bullied by someone, abusive relationships, or staying in a job that is making you sick. It is such a simple statement yet is also the biggest obstacle for so many of us. I used those specific examples because every single one, is an example from my life.

I have “allowed” fear, ignorance and a lack of self-confidence/love to dictate my life’s outcomes for almost 40 years. I have allowed both men and women to bully me because I didn’t have the self confidence to stand them down. I have lived through emotional and psychological abuse in relationships, I have seen and lived through MANY dark decisions that I have chosen to make that NEVER served me, and I have been in a job that was literally making me sick from the stress. I have failed so many times, at so many things that I have turned to my darkest thoughts, and have felt like I wasn’t worthy of redemption.

Yet, here I am. I have literally stepped in poop a million times, yet I always seem to walk away smelling like a rose. I don’t say this to boast, I say this as the blog title is spot on. What we allow is what will continue. If we continually allow ourselves to blindly follow the consensus, what we allow breaks down to Einstein’s definition of insanity. Repeating the same behaviors while trying to get a different outcome.

Allowing the same behaviors to obtain a different outcome. Semantics right? It all boils down to one thing. STOP ALLOWING INSANE BEHAVIOR TO DRIVE CHANGE. It will never work, it has never worked. We all know this as it has been proven time and time again. In our personal lives, in the world, in our country, it never works. But yet here we are. Repeating history as if it worked the first time around. Segregation, Discrimination, Scapegoats, hate speech, self-righteousness that one is above the other bc of consensus.

Anyone on social media knows the vile and disgusting images and words that people feel so free to disseminate. Ignorance, fear and hatred have become normal to us. Honor, respect and love have become an afterthought or an apology. WHY? WHY? WHY?

At the end of the day, what works is honor. Everyone feels entitled to it, yet refuse to practice it. It’s a simple as calling someone by their name, remembering their name. I know that when I have met someone only once, and the next time I see them, they call me E, or Erin, I recognize it and it ALWAYS makes me internally react. Wow! They remembered my name! My Da has always done this with people, to the point that we tease him about saying someone’s name repeatedly. When he is greeted by a server at a restaurant, or a stranger on the street, he always calls them by their name at least 3 times. It seems redundant, yet the reception by people is always of gratitude. Something as simple as remembering someone’s name, is giving honor. When we are able to take such a simple idea, and grow it into as many levels of life as we can, we all grow. We reverse the norm of cynicism, fear and anger. It actually feels GOOD. Our bodies actually respond by releasing neurotransmitters to enhance that good feeling. What a gift, and we all love feel good gifts.

This world has an overabundance of cynicism, anger, fear, negativity, judgement, and apathy. Why not try to counterbalance these oppressive behaviors by starting with you. It’s not an obstacle to speak respectfully, its not an obstacle to remember someone’s name. I think people would be pleasantly surprised by the reception. Stop fearing the idea of going against the grain by practicing honor. None of us are above each other, at the end of the day, when we are all stripped of our physical assets, what is left? Who are you when you are left with just your soul? Will you have enough honor to survive yourself? When you give honor, you gain honor. Like a boomerang, when you are able to honor others, you allow others to honor you back.

Honor does not mean agree. It means that you recognize that it is not your place to condemn, it means that you recognize at the end of the day, you are as vulnerable as the rest of us all, and that is perfectly ok.

Sophocles said it right. ” I would prefer even to fail with honor, that win by cheating.” I will stumble and fall repeatedly with honor, before I ever succumb to creating casualties to win. Join me, let’s defy the norm, start with remembering someone’s name today, honor someone who you think feels they are not honored. Be the change for them, just for a moment. It only takes a spark to start a fire. Be the spark, be the change. I know I will never relent in my pursuit.

so much love and respect.

xo-e