My personal walk with faith…

This blog entry runs deep for me. I have struggled with identifying with religion my whole life. It took me up until recently to recognize the true difference between faith and religion. It took me up until recently to not be afraid to share how my faith impacts my life and its outcomes.

My mom grew up in a strict Irish Roman Catholic family. My grandparents were immigrants from County Cork *(Up Cork!! 💚) and settled in Connecticut where my mom and aunt attended Catholic school their whole lives. My father grew up with parents that associated with being Protestant even though they never attended church or were religious in any manner. So when it came to having me, their first born, it was only natural to follow my mothers religious practices, bc she actually had them. I was christened in the Catholic Church and received my first communion. I remember being so annoyed that I had to skip recess on Wednesday’s bc we had to walk across the street to spend an hour with Sister Agnes. She was so mean. So mean. I don’t really remember much about religion class except I wasn’t alone, there were many of us that had to miss recess and all feared Sister Agnes.

It wasn’t much before the time I was to be confirmed that my parents decided to leave the Catholic Church. We began attending a small bible fellowship that met in the back of a nursery school. It was nothing like Mass. It didn’t have pews, you didn’t have confession, and people sat in a circle and played live music and spoke with each other. There was a pastor of course, but it was night and day from my life in the Catholic Church. My family finally settled on an amazing community church in a town just outside of where I grew up. I am actually attending tomorrow morning with my parents. I love this church. It’s love.

Ok, back to my journey. I may have mentioned once or twice before that I don’t do well in extremes. I like balance. This applies to faith and religion as well. Throughout my life, I have been exposed to a rainbow of religions and people in each ray. I have met some of the most extremely devout Catholics, that march against abortion, and send money to their church and it’s groups to stop abortion, yet there is no response to aborted fetal cells in vaccines. I have met some Ultra conservative Christians that have been so aggressive with their extreme view of what our role in god’s eyes is that I can understand why people get turned away from the true beauty of god and shows like the Handmaid Tale are created. I have met Christians that read the Bible repeatedly and can quote scripture better than anyone and tout what a virtuous life they lead, but when it comes to applying it, it’s blatantly lacking and everyone but them know it.

I have always maintained one thing my whole life. My faith. Not my religion. I have always had a belief in god. I can clearly remember at a very young age, maybe 5 or 6, and although I don’t remember where I was at the time, I do remember having this overwhelming feeling that god was real and that from that moment on, I would always believe in him. I have never truly felt completely connected to religion. There are different parts of religions that I love, but feel like I can incorporate those things I love into my own faith walk. As a Christian, I think my responsibility is to try and walk the walk. I don’t need to scream god’s goodness for people to hear it. I need to be god’s goodness in my behaviors and actions. Well, as close as humanly possible.

Favorite quote time!

“Insecurities are LOUD. Confidence is SILENT”

This is how I feel about religion and faith. Religion is that which is made from man, so it will always have errors. It’s called free will. Religion is LOUD. It is what wars are fought over. It is what first amendment rights are stripped out from under. It’s seen as a divider, not uniter.

Faith on the other hand is a personal walk with our creator. It is SILENT because it belongs to you, and doesn’t require approval from anyone else. Faith is what returns the light from dark. Faith is based on your truth. There is always growth from truth.

I don’t condemn religion or anyone who chooses to follow a specific religion. I just have never felt like I have found my true “religion” so instead of needing to be associated, I just focus on my faith, because at the end of the day, it’s all I can control.

I choose faith. It chooses me and it is well with my soul.

Much love and respect.

Xo -e

* my maternal grandfather was from County Mayo and was a second generation immigrant..