I write this entry with an insane amounts of personal excitement. Besides the weather being beyond perfect, I have watched and learned some things that have even made my arm hairs rise!
I have written in the past about watching my girlfriends go through their own ego deaths. Most recently, a girlfriend of mine had her marriage implode on her. It was a devastating blow for her and her husband. I was not surprised to hear that it had finally come to a head, as I had numerous conversations with her and His/her behaviors prior. None the less, the consequences to her clear minded and decided choices came back to haunt her. She sought me for empathy, to which I provided when appropriate. I was more concerned with acting as her mirror and doing my part as her friend to hold her accountable for her behaviors. She knew I did not agree with her choices prior to the implosion, and she walked into them with a clear yet self righteous mentality. I didn’t support it before, and I didn’t support it after. I’m not saying that I was mean to her, I wasn’t. She’s hurting on numerous levels and I don’t need to add to that. However, whenever a “but” entered her vocabulary or any type of self pity, I gently reminded her that she made these decisions of sound mind, knowing the consequences that could occur, and now she has to deal with them. It became quite clear to her that she was not prepared for the casualties. I agreed and encouraged her to stop making it about her, because that behavior is exactly what brought her to this place to begin with. She listened and even agreed with me and said “that’s fair”, followed by but….
I spoke with her today and was literally bouncing in my seat with excitement. She was like a new person from when I spoke with her last. She was explaining the progress through the storm she is in and she spoke so differently. She was not speaking from an “I or me” place unless it was taking accountability for her behaviors with zero “buts”. She was vulnerable and raw and unguarded and accountable. I am so proud of her self realizations. I have literally experienced the same things and know where it leads to (all good!) She spoke of feeling truly free from being accountable. She spoke words that literally have been in my head at times of like. I could not be more excited for her to keep growing. She’s learning that the ego she has carried and maintained and even perfected has been her demise. Keep going and growing sister(s). Bring your husband and family with you. You’re a natural leader and have a heart that is pure when not blinded by ego. I am so proud of your growth from vulnerability, let that heart shine and keep rising!
They say the small things in life are what really matter. I am starting to agree with that more and more everyday! Taking note of the smaller joys in life has allowed me to see the bigger picture in life more clearly, and it is AWESOME! The more I pay attention to the small things, the easier it gets with the bigger things. Seems like common sense but for some reason I can’t shake the fact that I’m not alone in letting the smaller things pass me by. I plan on continuing to pay attention to the smaller details as those are adding up very quickly to be the bigger things in my life.
“Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk losing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” -Brene Brown
So much love and respect.
Xo-e
The Underground Momma 