Sweet child of mine…

Oh my sweet, beautiful and gentle souled boy. I needed to write down the insanely overwhelming emotions that you create in my life on a daily basis. You need to know that you were a miracle. Daddy and I were told that we would probably never be able to have any children and although we were sad at the thought of never being a mommy and daddy, we were ok. You will never be able to comprehend the way our lives changed for the better when we found out that you were arriving. We both knew one thing, that we would do everything we possibly could to ensure the best life for you.

I loved you from the second I found out you were alive and rapidly growing in my belly. I cherished every second of watching my tummy “Buddha bump” out as you began to grow and become stronger. You made your appearance just a couple weeks after my own birthday. It was like a dream when you finally arrived. You were divine perfection. I knew from the second I saw you that there would never be anything in this world that I would let harm you. You arrived with the most beautiful energy, you have literally been a joy even on your worst of days. You my sweet son, were created with this beautiful and rare soul, your name means full of goodness, and you have lived up to your name with every breath you take.

You were the spitting image of Daddy for the first few years of life. EVERYONE mentioned how much you looked like daddy. It always made me so happy when people said that because there is nothing in this world that could make Daddy happier than you. Daddy can’t talk about our miracle of you, without crying. You have been and always will be the best thing that has ever happened in Daddy’s and my lives.

As we approach your six birthday, I need you to know how deeply proud I am of who you have become. In your short time on this earth, you have triumphed through difficult and confusing times that children should not have to bear. You have been the epitome of grace with the separation of living spaces for you to spend time with both Daddy and I. I know it’s not fair and you never asked for this, so thank you for always being our wingman and trusting us to guide you through safely. Daddy and I promise to always put you and your growth before anything. You have adjusted beautifully to a new family. You welcomed your new siblings in with open arms and pure agape love. You are an incredible soul, my sweet Nugs.

I know that this new school journey we will be taking is confusing and different. I know that you cannot fully understand why you have been separated from your buddies. I know it stinks that you won’t be sitting in the same lunch room, playing dodgeball during gym or fooling around with your bestie while you’re supposed to be learning. I’m sorry that you have been robbed of those things. All I can promise you is that you will always have your buddies. You will be thoroughly educated and empowered throughout your entire life. You will never be left behind, and you will always know that you are ENOUGH, just as you, always.

I hope you will always sing “good grace” or “you say” at the top of your lungs while roaming through target. I hope that you always want to lay your head on my belly for Nuggie-Snuggie time. I hope that you always correct me and insist that I call you Poodle or Nuggie or Bin-Bin, instead of your real name. I hope that you will always want your pillow flipped before you sleep and you will always sing “see you in the morning” as I walk out the door. Our routines are so much more than just normal, they are my existence as your momma and I cherish every single one.

Oh my sweet, gentle, kind boy. May you always remember who you are and why you were created. May you always shine your infectious light to everyone you meet. You have no idea what a difference you have made already, in so many people’s lives. “Yes, I gave you life, but you really gave me mine.” Thank you for choosing me to be your momma, I am forever humbled and grateful.

With my love always,

Your momma xo