Setting a new bar…

AHHHHHH! I am so excited to be back pouring out the thoughts in my brain! I had decided to pull back a little from blogging because I recognized a pattern of negativity creeping into my posts. My better half pointed it out to me as well, which was validation for my own self recognition. Hence, my hiatus. It’s of the utmost importance to me that when I am sharing information surrounding divisive topics, that they are relayed without personal bias/emotion as much as humanly possible. That said, this is my personal blog and was created as an outlet to process my emotions from experiences. So instead I decided to wait to blog until I was able to separate emotions from facts. I have so many facts to blog about in future posts, but this one will be emotional.

If you know me, you probably are aware that I don’t really “do” the norm. I have always beaten to the sound of my own drum on many levels of life (probably screwed up that saying). The level of life I want to share about here, is co-parenting with ex’s after divorce. I have written posts about how my ex and I co-parent and are better friends and communicators now, than when we were married or dating. I am so excited to share that I have been able to take the idea of “being better” to a developing friendship with my better half’s ex wife. She is the mother of the children that I consider my bonus children and love immensely. It has always been priority number one to me to show the utmost of respect and boundaries to her as a mother and as a woman. The idea that the person you have ended a marriage to, has for lack of a better work, “replaced” you is enough emotion to process alone. Add in children, and the threat of infringement for most people becomes exacerbated. I have watched too many children suffer at the hands of their parents attempting to destroy each other via new partners or spouses, to know that it just could never be that way for me.

The kids mom and I have always had a non-threatening and peaceful relationship since meeting. It was superficial in the sense of most face to face interactions, but never uncomfortable. I have always set forth the intention of working towards a new normal of being friends with the kids mom. I am not saying that I expected her to follow suit and just join me, rather, I just knew I would never project anything but my true intention towards her. Every relationship has pasts that concern only the two people in the relationship. I truly feel that any negative feelings that someone harbors for another is THEIR’s to own, not mine to own bc they have projected upon me. Net-net, she has never personally impacted me, so her slate is clean with me. Throughout the past couple years, she and I have discussed having a mom’s night out to grab a drink and chat. I am so excited to share that our mom’s night out happened a couple days ago!

We decided kind of last minute to run and grab a bite after she was dropping her youngest off at our house one night. We sat in a booth across from each other and started off our night with a high five. I pointed out to her that we were basically going against the “norm” of ex’s and how grateful I was to be sitting there with her. We ended up sitting in the booth, sharing food, laughing hysterically, sharing truth’s and countless vulnerabilities, crying, grabbing hands across the table in unity and support, crying some more, and realizing the commonalities between us. We both radiated in positive energy and mutual empowerment. We were both thriving in and radiating the highest energy frequencies possible. It was the same kind of energy that you feel when you win a big sporting event with your teammates, united, hopeful, excited for what you just accomplished together, just pure goodness. IT WAS AWESOME.

Life is constantly throwing obstacles of all sizes in our individual paths, dwelling in negative energy with ex spouse’s can be one of the biggest and most costly. I am so excited to continue to manifest the amazing relationship that she and I have created together. Our foundation has been set on truths, respect, love and honor or who each of us are. We are committed to setting a new normal built on empowerment and accountability as both mothers and women. We chose to set a new bar, together. How lucky am I??

“Life is not about who you once were. It’s about who you are now, and who you have the potential to be.”

So much love and respect.

xo -e