A moment of clarity….

Holy Lord!! It has officially been over a year since my last blog entry. Tonight I decided to finally hunker down with my laptop and blog away. Who hasn’t repeatedly said out loud what an insane year it has been? It has been surreal watching this all unfold. Although I have numerous thoughts and experiences that I will soon share around Covid (the good time ruiner), this blog post will not include anything Covid (the good time ruiner)related.

I chose to blog tonight because I am so excited to have achieved a personal milestone and I wanted to share my vulnerabilities with everyone, as I find it therapeutic to speak openly. So brace yourself, there is a necessary back story coming.

I was delighted to spend a full week away this August, on vacation with my family, as well as share a co-parenting vacation with my ex and his (amazing)partner in crime. I could write a full blog post on that incredible experience alone, which I probably will end up doing, as it’s totally worth sharing. Stay tuned for a future post with those details.

Anyhoo, while enjoying a fabulous week of soaking up the revitalizing sunshine of the South Carolina shores, and enjoying the ever humbling strength and beauty of the ocean waves, I managed to somehow “jack up” my right knee. I cannot identify the exact moment of impact, but I can tell you that the ocean quickly (and repeatedly)reminded me who was really in charge. I got hammered with waves and undertow induced loss of footing more times than I can count playing in the waves. It was awesome! There was also this 2 hour “dolphin spotting” ocean Jet Ski tour that we decided to partake in.

Ok, full disclosure- I am the antithesis of an athlete. I am like a bull in a China shop, and have never possessed a ton of coordination and grace. I will randomly have bruises appear on my appendages from running into the corners of shelves, cabinet doors etc. Ok, you get the picture. Keeping this is mind, I will try and recreate the visual of my ocean and what turned out to be a “no dolphin sighting” 2 hour jet skiing tour. There were a total of 4 jet skis in our group and our guide had us follow each other out in a line through the inter-coastal. It was a no wake zone for quite a ways, so no problem, easy peasy, I was coasting along. We then hit a spot of cruising and I watched as each of the other skis sped off way ahead of me. I started to gain some speed when suddenly a fish launched itself out of the water, hit the side of my jet ski and flipped back into the water. I had one of those mini-heart attack moments and immediately slowed down, which had now put me waaaaaaay behind the group, so I worked my confidence back up, and attempt to catch up as quickly as possible to the others. Needless to say, they were all waiting for me at the entrance into the ocean. I was officially the slow old lady holding up the group. Keith made sure to tease me about exactly that when I finally caught up. It was funny because it’s true and to be honest, I could have cared less that I was the slow old lady anyway. We ended up pausing as a group and chatting about the game plan when we hit the open ocean. We were able to have “free ski” and rip around anywhere we wanted as long as we could stay in view and didn’t go to close to shore. Awesome. Freedom on the open ocean to rip around on a jet ski and look for dolphins, I was ready.

The ocean looked so calm and peaceful from my viewpoint on the beach, especially when I looked way beyond the wave breaks. Well, let me tell you how that turned out to be a deceptive LIE. I was out in that open ocean that appeared to be so calm and peaceful, and it was the furthest thing from it. I had entered my own version of the waves from the movie “The Perfect Storm”. They were obnoxiously large and angry with they way they were colliding and crashing into each other. It took me a while to build my confidence with choosing how to navigate the waves and how fast to go in order to not flip myself over. There was a zero chance that I was going into that ocean unless I was dead. There were a couple of times where I hit a bunch of colliding waves and was launched out of the water to the point that my jet ski sounded like it was a squealing pig “wheeeeeeeeing” from being out of the water. The obvious change in the jet ski’s noise caused me to panic and quickly correct my daredevil moves from happening again. It was a thrash around, bumpy, sometimes terrifying, yet fun experience! I can say that I will probably choose to never do that again but I am glad I did it. After the return trip, I started to feel the physical casualties that the mighty ocean had in store for me. My knee looked like a balloon from swelling, and the increasing pain made it clear that I would soon be paying for my jet skiing, daredevil like shenanigans.

Upon returning home from South Carolina, my discomfort was increasing and mobility decreasing, so I decided to head over to the Ortho-Urgent Care. I was given x-rays, and had some physical tests completed to determine ACL damage. The PA informed me that I needed an MRI and in the meantime handed me a list of PT exercises to begin, and called in a script for meloxicam, which is a prescription NSAID. The PA suggested that although meloxicam was similar (same MOA- Mechanism of action) to ibuprofen (which is over the counter) but patients had reported improved pain relief when switching to a prescription NSAID like meloxicam from OTC Ibuprofen. I was taken aback from hearing her suggest this to me, not because she said something offensive, rather it was that I heard her words as almost verbatim repeat of how I had sold to Providers in the past on writing a prescription med for a patient instead of an over the counter competitor. I just smiled and thanked her for her help. I have not picked up that Meloxicam script, and have no intention to. This is where I am gonna bring it all home for you on why I was excited to write this post to begin with!

When I was living and breathing Pharma, I was really well connected with incredible providers from numerous specialties from my years in the industry. Had I experienced my knee injury a few years back, I would have already had some sort of pain relief called in while I was on vacation, had something to help me sleep, and probably even a muscle relaxer for muscle spasms. It would have been an automatic response for me to immediately seek pharmaceutical support to manage my symptoms. I would have turned my nose up to any other treatment or therapies if it didn’t include a prescription of some sort. I was fully committed to prescription meds as the only true way for health management, hook, line and sinker.

When I decided to exit the world of Pharmaceuticals, I longed to exit it from a patient perspective as well when it came to using allopathic therapeutics. I had lived a life only seeking and using one method of medicine for my illness management. Over the past couple of years, I have dedicated more and more of my free time reading and researching as much as I possibly can with regard to Natural Medicine and its many branches. It has been the most incredible and eye opening journey to learn about the depth and incredible medicinal uses of plants, Fungi and minerals. There truly is a plant/mineral for every ailment, it’s just incredible! As I increase my knowledge base, I often find myself getting angry and disappointed with the amount of incredible information and resources in Natural Medicine that have been written off as “pseudo-science” or “quackery”. More societal driven labels used to divide and conquer the people all while providing the fuel for ad hominem attacks. We have been robbed. Why shouldn’t people have the choice to explore all treatment options? Why shouldn’t Natural Medicine be more of an accepted option for people to seek out? Why can’t we have allopathic medicine systems and natural health systems for people to choose from without restriction or judgement? Why does there need to be a monopoly on health care, if the end goal is truly people’s health? Allopathic medicine has it’s place in society. Natural Medicine has it’s place in society. Until we find a way to truly separate Pharma and State, corporations and their products will continue to take priority over the people. Our data speaks for itself when it comes to the true public health in our country. We are a nation of chronically ill, medication dependent and increasingly sick people. It makes me crazy.

So far I have managed every step of my knee injury sans synthetic medications. I have chosen to manage my pain with compression, physical support for stability, Arnica and Bellis homeopathic tools, lots of ice and elevation. I have certainly experienced positive relief with my chosen arsenal of tools. I won’t lie and say that this is a happy/happy/joy/joy kind of experience, it’s not, it hurts like a mother and is super uncomfortable. All I know is that this time around, my perspective and outlook are completely opposite of my past. The treatments and therapies that I once considered absurd and unattainable, are in reality, incredible and easily tangible.

There is such incredible life and vibrant health opportunities waiting for everyone outside of Allopathic medicine. We are not bound to only abide by one set of medical standards that were designed and implemented to ultimately finance corporations as the main priority with the people’s health coming in at second place.

I have lived and gained personal experiences in both Medical worlds and I am choosing to stay exactly where I have landed. I am healthier than I have ever been and HAPPY, I feel empowered about my taking care of my health and how to better self manage it. I have new perspectives to see from and have every intention to continue expanding those perspectives.

“Gaining knowledge, is the first step to wisdom. Sharing it, is the first step to humanity” -unknown

So much love and respect.

xo -e