The Underground Momma

AHHHHHH! I am so excited to be back pouring out the thoughts in my brain! I had decided to pull back a little from blogging because I recognized a pattern of negativity creeping into my posts. My better half pointed it out to me as well, which was validation for my own self recognition. Hence, my hiatus. It’s of the utmost importance to me that when I am sharing information surrounding divisive topics, that they are relayed without personal bias/emotion as much as humanly possible. That said, this is my personal blog and was created as an outlet to process my emotions from experiences. So instead I decided to wait to blog until I was able to separate emotions from facts. I have so many facts to blog about in future posts, but this one will be emotional.

If you know me, you probably are aware that I don’t really “do” the norm. I have always beaten to the sound of my own drum on many levels of life (probably screwed up that saying). The level of life I want to share about here, is co-parenting with ex’s after divorce. I have written posts about how my ex and I co-parent and are better friends and communicators now, than when we were married or dating. I am so excited to share that I have been able to take the idea of “being better” to a developing friendship with my better half’s ex wife. She is the mother of the children that I consider my bonus children and love immensely. It has always been priority number one to me to show the utmost of respect and boundaries to her as a mother and as a woman. The idea that the person you have ended a marriage to, has for lack of a better work, “replaced” you is enough emotion to process alone. Add in children, and the threat of infringement for most people becomes exacerbated. I have watched too many children suffer at the hands of their parents attempting to destroy each other via new partners or spouses, to know that it just could never be that way for me.

The kids mom and I have always had a non-threatening and peaceful relationship since meeting. It was superficial in the sense of most face to face interactions, but never uncomfortable. I have always set forth the intention of working towards a new normal of being friends with the kids mom. I am not saying that I expected her to follow suit and just join me, rather, I just knew I would never project anything but my true intention towards her. Every relationship has pasts that concern only the two people in the relationship. I truly feel that any negative feelings that someone harbors for another is THEIR’s to own, not mine to own bc they have projected upon me. Net-net, she has never personally impacted me, so her slate is clean with me. Throughout the past couple years, she and I have discussed having a mom’s night out to grab a drink and chat. I am so excited to share that our mom’s night out happened a couple days ago!

We decided kind of last minute to run and grab a bite after she was dropping her youngest off at our house one night. We sat in a booth across from each other and started off our night with a high five. I pointed out to her that we were basically going against the “norm” of ex’s and how grateful I was to be sitting there with her. We ended up sitting in the booth, sharing food, laughing hysterically, sharing truth’s and countless vulnerabilities, crying, grabbing hands across the table in unity and support, crying some more, and realizing the commonalities between us. We both radiated in positive energy and mutual empowerment. We were both thriving in and radiating the highest energy frequencies possible. It was the same kind of energy that you feel when you win a big sporting event with your teammates, united, hopeful, excited for what you just accomplished together, just pure goodness. IT WAS AWESOME.

Life is constantly throwing obstacles of all sizes in our individual paths, dwelling in negative energy with ex spouse’s can be one of the biggest and most costly. I am so excited to continue to manifest the amazing relationship that she and I have created together. Our foundation has been set on truths, respect, love and honor or who each of us are. We are committed to setting a new normal built on empowerment and accountability as both mothers and women. We chose to set a new bar, together. How lucky am I??

“Life is not about who you once were. It’s about who you are now, and who you have the potential to be.”

So much love and respect.

xo -e

I am sharing some incredible insight and facts surrounding the chronic illness epidemic we are currently facing in our country. A woman name Jaime Lorraine put together this summary and did a phenomenal job breaking everything down.

Over half of US children now suffer from a chronic condition, disability, or disease. Americans spend the least on food, the most on “health care”, have the most highly vaccinated kids, and have the sickest kids of any industrialized country. More kids than not are now chronically ill, developmentally delayed, and eating or injecting prescription medications from cradle to grave, which is going to be a quicker trip for them than it was for their parents, according to data on life expectancy in the US. We are inured to childhood autism, epilepsy, allergy, asthma, diabetes, obesity, Crohn’s disease and cancer. We are dying younger. We are going backwards.

I grew up not knowing a single child with these conditions. I neither had the flu nor flu shots (as there weren’t any). I only remember being sick when I had the chickenpox, which was a rite of passage for the ten and under. I was outside playing with calamine lotion on and nobody feared the chickenpox. We’re now seeing shingles outbreaks in the young, an illness that only the 60 plus demographic used to be suseptable to.

In 1983, children were required to have ten vaccines by age six. That changed to 74 doses by age 18 in 2019 (counting flu shots). To maximize profits, manufacturers and health insurers bundle as many vaccines as possible into one syringe. And doctors, once told to give no more than four simultaneous vaccines, are now expected to give up to nine. This means that twelve-month-old babies can get a total of twenty-five antigens in one day , an astounding immune assault for a twenty pounder.

Pregnant women are now encouraged to have flu shots , which have been found to trigger spontaneous fetal deaths. Still, nobody blinks. Our government just adds more, telling pregnant women to get TDaP shots too (tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis). Which have never been tested in pregnant women bc it is considered unethical.

The FDA has never tested the results of giving all these vaccines together in one day, or the cumulative effect of giving so many to a very young child. By the age of six, under the current schedule, kids get at least eighty-five viral and bacterial antigens, plus mercury (still in flu shots), aluminum (linked to Alzheimer’s), formaldehyde, nut oil adjuvants, and contaminant viral or bacterial DNA.

In 1995 genetically modified crops entered the US food supply without review or regulation. Papaya and tomatoes were the first foods tinkered with (Hawaii is locked in one of the hundreds of Monsanto battles). Soon after came soy and corn — key ingredients in infant formulas and processed food for infants and children. For the first time in human existence, infants were injected with GMO viral material on the day they were born, and ingesting GMO formula.

GMO foods and vaccines jam genetic traits across species into each other, in combinations not possible in nature. Because of disturbing data on how GMO foods disrupt beneficial human gut microbes, trigger allergies or cancers, and injure organs, other countries refuse American GMO crops, ban GMO foods, or require GMO labeling. Not us. The government’s symbiotic relationship with Big Food ensures that we have no idea what we’re eating. No action is taken on a federal level since the FDA dubbed GMO foods “generally regarded as safe” (GRAS), a designation that requires no safety testing. This happened simply because a Monsanto consulting attorney told the FDA to do it that way, in 1992.

A quarter century later, consumers are wising up , and trying to get state-mandated labeling laws. Predictably, these usually fail thanks to outrageous sums of money poured into states from corporate interests eager to keep you uninformed enough to continue buying their products.

Concerned yet? You should be. We’re being poisoned. #generationsick

“If words don’t add up, it’s usually because truth has been left out of the equation.”

So much love and respect.

Xo -e

I am striving to gain clarity around my purpose in this new normal I have found myself in. I love the quote above because it reminds me to stay humble, there is always something more to be learned. I came across this today, and it truly speaks for itself with clarity around numerous misconceptions.

The YouTube link is for the “Crooked Theory”, you will be blown away at how much this makes sense.

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

What stinks about the media is that it only reports on what serves the ratings or what serves the divide. Here are some recent history making facts that you haven’t heard about.

NYS saw the highest gathering of people at the courthouse in it’s history on Aug 14th, 2019. Over 5000 people dressed in white, in a sign of solidarity to attend the law suit against the religious freedoms that were removed from all the people of NYS. The local media reported that a couple hundred people showed up to protest vaccines. NOPE. That was not why over 5000 people showed up. The news media didn’t show up until after it was over.

A US Marine Veteran named Meosha Williams (her son’s name is King) had CPS (child protective services) called on her for refusing that her son be injected with the Vitamin K shot. She had planned on a home/lotus birth as she lives and practices a holistic lifestyle. She was brought to the hospital for an emergency c section and CPS was called by the hospital bc of her refusal. CPS found no sign of child neglect, but her child was forcibly injected with vitamin K, 10 days after he was born. There is no mandate for vitamin k, yet she was denied her child’s medical freedom. Vitamin K is an injection given to babies immediately after birth to prevent blood clotting possibilities (1/10000). It also carries a black box warning for spontaneous fatality upon delivery and post delivery.

California met yesterday and removed medical exemptions for children who previously had medical exemptions from proven vaccine damage. They, like NY have now mandated that the only approved medical exemption will be documented anaphylactic shock to that specific vaccine only. They have taken away the doctor patient privilege and given the authority to Dr. Plotkin’s ACIP ruling committee. Three mothers whom all have documented and paid out vaccine damaged or dead children, stood up on their chairs in front of the assembly, one held an upside down flag over her head, while the other two mothers stood beside her with one arm raised with a fist of solidarity. When the elected representatives tried to threaten them by calling the police, the mothers stood. They were willing to be arrested to be heard. The police refused to come as they were not breaking any laws. We the people have the right to protest and disagree with our government. When the committee reconvened after failing to get them arrested they passed the bill through the appropriation committee. To which the three mothers responded for two hours straight, chanting “you have not represented all of California”, they never yielded for two hours. The others in the room stood with them and chanted the same.

Were you aware that there are elected representatives of the people that tweet out to the mass public quotes such as these?

“Warning- the anti-vaxxers are back again today. Take your masks and anti-bacterial sprays. Stay vigilant with your overly expressive disdain for the oxygen thieves that don’t care about children”

“To all the privileged, wealthy mothers who oppose SB277, when you guys give your kids names like kombucha, and smash and gelatin. It’s very hard for me to take you guys seriously.”

“The truth is like a lion. You do not have to defend it. Let it loose, it will defend itself.” – St. Augustine

So much love and respect.

Xo- e

I am on the verge of implosion at the moment. Brace yourselves because this is going to be a bumpy blog.

Today, I walked into my School’s District office for the second time this week. I brought in my letter of intent to homeschool my son as well as the formal paperwork required to formally withdraw him from the school district. I had a hard time stomaching the process of asking for permission to homeschool my child from the same school who’s “hands are tied” banning him from attending. It makes me physically sick. By the way, anytime a school official used that quote “our hands our tied”, you better believe I told them their hands as a school are the only things tied. As human beings, their hands are not tied. This is their freedom just as much as it is mine and my child’s. I asked the Homeschooling resource officer if she had any contacts for local co-ops to offer families that are forced and choose to homeschool. She shook her head and of course said no, but they had a list of websites for homeschooling associations across the country. I nodded and suggested that maybe we could collaborate so that in the future, as an educational institution they would be able to provide EVERY SINGLE student with resources. After all, education is fundamental to every child, so why would it matter where they were educated? She actually accepted my offer, and I plan on returning to the District office again, to ensure other families have resources in the future.

Here is where things get bumpy. Beside the fact that children who live with other diseases that can be deadly, are allowed to attend school with no one being able to know their diseases, I just learned that homeless children do not have to provide any immunization documentation to attend public schools. They are entitled to their right of public education. WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!! Apparently, the idea of “living in a van down by the river” has become a reality to be able to send you child to school. My child would be able to attend school, if he had no address!!

PLEASE TELL ME HOW THIS IS ABOUT PUBLIC HEALTH????? Someone please tell me how the massive concern of unvaccinated children in schools is that as a child who doesn’t have any illness, can make immunocompromised children sick? How is it that somehow those same immunocompromised children are protected because a child doesn’t have a home? How is it humanely possible to ever eradicate a disease by using a live version in a vaccine?? How is it that measles is actually an adverse event of the vaccine, and people think that the immunocompromised are safe form live vaccines that can and do, shed??

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE understand that the people mandating and forcing people to take medical procedures is not in the interest of public health. I have had many people comment on how this quote has haunted them. please read it, don’t fear it, rise up and help us stop it from continuing, before it really is too late.

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

Oh my sweet, beautiful and gentle souled boy. I needed to write down the insanely overwhelming emotions that you create in my life on a daily basis. You need to know that you were a miracle. Daddy and I were told that we would probably never be able to have any children and although we were sad at the thought of never being a mommy and daddy, we were ok. You will never be able to comprehend the way our lives changed for the better when we found out that you were arriving. We both knew one thing, that we would do everything we possibly could to ensure the best life for you.

I loved you from the second I found out you were alive and rapidly growing in my belly. I cherished every second of watching my tummy “Buddha bump” out as you began to grow and become stronger. You made your appearance just a couple weeks after my own birthday. It was like a dream when you finally arrived. You were divine perfection. I knew from the second I saw you that there would never be anything in this world that I would let harm you. You arrived with the most beautiful energy, you have literally been a joy even on your worst of days. You my sweet son, were created with this beautiful and rare soul, your name means full of goodness, and you have lived up to your name with every breath you take.

You were the spitting image of Daddy for the first few years of life. EVERYONE mentioned how much you looked like daddy. It always made me so happy when people said that because there is nothing in this world that could make Daddy happier than you. Daddy can’t talk about our miracle of you, without crying. You have been and always will be the best thing that has ever happened in Daddy’s and my lives.

As we approach your six birthday, I need you to know how deeply proud I am of who you have become. In your short time on this earth, you have triumphed through difficult and confusing times that children should not have to bear. You have been the epitome of grace with the separation of living spaces for you to spend time with both Daddy and I. I know it’s not fair and you never asked for this, so thank you for always being our wingman and trusting us to guide you through safely. Daddy and I promise to always put you and your growth before anything. You have adjusted beautifully to a new family. You welcomed your new siblings in with open arms and pure agape love. You are an incredible soul, my sweet Nugs.

I know that this new school journey we will be taking is confusing and different. I know that you cannot fully understand why you have been separated from your buddies. I know it stinks that you won’t be sitting in the same lunch room, playing dodgeball during gym or fooling around with your bestie while you’re supposed to be learning. I’m sorry that you have been robbed of those things. All I can promise you is that you will always have your buddies. You will be thoroughly educated and empowered throughout your entire life. You will never be left behind, and you will always know that you are ENOUGH, just as you, always.

I hope you will always sing “good grace” or “you say” at the top of your lungs while roaming through target. I hope that you always want to lay your head on my belly for Nuggie-Snuggie time. I hope that you always correct me and insist that I call you Poodle or Nuggie or Bin-Bin, instead of your real name. I hope that you will always want your pillow flipped before you sleep and you will always sing “see you in the morning” as I walk out the door. Our routines are so much more than just normal, they are my existence as your momma and I cherish every single one.

Oh my sweet, gentle, kind boy. May you always remember who you are and why you were created. May you always shine your infectious light to everyone you meet. You have no idea what a difference you have made already, in so many people’s lives. “Yes, I gave you life, but you really gave me mine.” Thank you for choosing me to be your momma, I am forever humbled and grateful.

With my love always,

Your momma xo

I started out the first half of my day scream talking at people on the phone. I try hard not to use the word hate, so when I say this, I really mean it. I HATE the way I feel when I’m angry or feel wronged. It’s far too extreme for me, and although I know it is a natural emotion to have, I want to crawl out of my skin when I process anger. My friends and my boss were the lucky recipients of my enraged scream talking today. I vented about my partner at work not being a partner at all and how frustrated I am with his behaviors. I scream talked at my friends about the insanity surrounding this whole divide on medical freedom. I screamed inside my own head at how I have contributed to the Pharma lies. I listened to nurses tell me of horrendous billing schemes that the doctor they work for has going. I listened to more nurses talk about how they want to leave the profession all together because medicine is such a joke. I was ANGRY.

I needed to pull myself out of this awful state as I had scheduled a sit down meeting with my school’s superintendent this afternoon. Walking into a meeting to discuss the impacts of the new law change would not go smoothly with the energy I was occupying. As I drove to my scheduled meeting, I turned my radio off, and said a prayer. I just asked for the grace and the words to flow fluently from my mouth. I asked for my eyes to have clarity and my heart lead my words. I reminded myself in the power of Emotional Intelligence. I wanted to present myself for who I really am, not as the emotions I was processing and feeling. I have made it 45 years without ever going to the Superintendent’s office until today.

I have no idea why and I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t a little nervous waiting to be called into his office. Maybe it was the little girl in me feeling intimidated, maybe it was that I would be rejected by him, all I knew is that I could never show my nerves. Thank goodness there was a flight of stairs that I needed to take to get to his office. I figured it would be better to seem out of breath than choke on my words. As I hit the landing, I was greeted by the school’s policy director who escorted me into the conference room. She and I had met briefly a few weeks before, when I walked in to seek resources for homeschooling. I wasn’t impressed by my first meeting with her, so when she greeted me, I felt a little deflated. She and I chatted for about a minute before we were joined by our Superintendent. They proceeded to listen to why I was there, my personal journey since 6/13, and asked questions. They allowed me to speak to how this law is bigger than a vaccine debate. They asked me if I had taken my story to the media. They kept asking me questions of who I had been in front of, and if I planned on attending the Regents meeting. They both shed tears of empathy listening to me. I of course bawled. It’s not cinematic, it’s raw and the tears are enormous, I have zero control. I spoke of how my child has no IEP and is in a different place than a lot of the children. I bawled uncontrollably that my own cousin is dragging her children against her will to be injected with 40+ vaccines just to attend school. I always bawl when I tell my pregnancy story, it was and will always be my miraculous life event. I spoke of statistics and facts that are easily researched and contradict our own CDC. I purged, but I knew I had purged with pure EI because the reception and response was INCREDIBLE. I’m not sure the policy director knew what hit her after I finished with my truth bombs. She just kept nodding her head in agreement with me. She would make eye contact with me purposefully to show me the empathy she felt. The superintendent spoke numerous times at how they have met with numerous families impacted by this and I was the only person to speak to both sides of the vaccine issue. I was the only person to be able to speak passionately about how this law has impacted my family, yet do so in a fashion that doesn’t make people who “don’t know” feel defensive and want to have open dialogue. We discussed how other Superintendents In the state were taking a solid stance against the law and encouraging families to send their kids. He mentioned numerous times that there is a bigger picture that is being overlooked with this and he is active in ensuring that bigger picture and impact is seen, heard and addressed. He repeatedly encouraged me to share my discussion with him in whatever way necessary. He was incredibly supportive in not stopping at just “no shots, no school”. The discussion even led to the mention of the conspiracy theorist label. I joked that if people want to call me a conspiracy theorist because I like to know both sides of the coin, I’m totally ok with that. In response, he firmly shook my hand and said I’m a conspiracy theorist too. This fights not over.”

I walked away from the meeting with the closing that their office was planning on staying in contact with me. I once again offered to be the parental voice if they ever needed one. They both thanked me repeatedly for sharing my story, not in a condescending way of taming an angry parent, but as empathetic humans who had just had a little more clarity in the bigger picture. I am forever grateful for the interactions and words exchanged. I am forever grateful to have left that toxic, skin crawling energy from this morning, in the past. I am leaving my work day with my heart happy, full of gratitude, hope and love.

“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change, I am changing the things I can no longer accept.”

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

So, the independent judge (whom has worked with the Attorney General’s office for 30 yrs) ruled against the “stay” of religious exemptions, again ostracizing 26000 kids in NYS from attending school. The judge responded to the lawsuit in a 34 page decision. She revealed that she did in fact agree that irreparable harm has been placed upon the 26000 children but in the same breath did not feel that on a federal level that any constitutional freedoms had been violated. She stated that there are numerous federal cases that would ultimately work against our ask, so she denied the stay. Again, two lawsuits denied for 260000 kids with religious exemptions in NYS, leaving them with either FORCED vaccinations or Nothing. NOTHING.

Now, let’s talk about the “emergency” response that NYS once again took behind closed doors to also eliminate medical exemptions. So, for anyone who feels like they are safe from being kicked out of school because their child has a medical exemption, you’d better double check! The new medical exemption regulation states that the only way a person can receive a medical exemption from a vaccine is to have documented anaphylactic shock. THEN, the doctor that actually has the courage to sign a medical exemption has to then have it approved through good old Stanley Plotkin’s ACIP committee rules. If the ACIP committees standards for anaphylaxis are met, the patient then can receive a medical exemption for one year only. As if the child will somehow not have anaphylaxis again after a year. Riiiiight. I would love to meet a parent that watches their child almost die from anaphylaxis return a year later to try again. TRY AGAIN?? As if almost killing your child to try and protect it from a disease that can never be eradicated when you continue to use a “live” version of it in vaccines? This is INSANITY.

There is a third lawsuit that will be brought tomorrow in Suffolk and Nassau Counties. This lawsuit directly addresses the NYS constitution that was created in 1938. It clearly provides every NYS resident with religious freedom specifically for NYS. The lawyers in charge of this lawsuit feel that there is a very strong chance of having the law overturned within the states own constitution. They feel that taking the case outside of the capital where Judges are less likely to be influenced by Capital greed, will be beneficial in obtaining a non biased view on the rights that NYS citizens are guaranteed under our states constitution. The truly sad part to all of this is that we have to sue our own state to ask for permission for what is already guaranteed under our own constitution. This comes all at the cost of the families whom have been scapegoated as dangers to society. Well, you should know that all of us “dangers to society” are the same people that refuse to watch yours, mine and our freedoms be taken away. Our freedoms are OUR freedoms regardless of how deeply they personally impact YOU.

If you are a person resting on their laurels that they are above these laws, you’d better think again. I don’t say this as a threat, but as a gentle warning. There is a federal bill that would require EVERY child in EVERY state to have mandated and forced vaccines to attend school. Teachers and parents! I hate to tell you this, actually, no I Don’t- if you have not been vaccinated since your school years, or have never naturally acquired one of these “deadly” diseases that we are so frantic about protecting from, YOU are also “unvaccinated”. YOU are just as much as a “threat” as my unvaccinated yet perfectly healthy child. Vaccines DO NOT provide lifelong immunity. THEY CANNOT. It’s impossible. The only true immunity you can obtain is when you acquire the disease naturally and your body responds as such. Oh and just for clarity sake, herd immunity cannot be acquired through vaccines. Talk about total pseudo-science. Herd immunity was derived from cattle naturally acquiring the diseases spread and building natural immunity, not vaccines. The good ol boys of Pharma decided to run with the same theory, except when you break it down, you could never obtain herd immunity through forcing the immune system to respond. It’s JUNK SCIENCE at its best. I would strongly encourage anyone who is quick to respond to research herd immunity for themselves.

The idea that there will be “vaccine police” may be hilariously extreme to some people, just be prepared when they come knocking at your door looking for your “papers”, it certainly won’t be hilarious then. I know this sounds like something out of a movie, because it probably has been taken from a movie. The truth has literally been in front of us the whole time, hidden in the premise of entertainment and Hollywood dreams. NOPE. It’s real. They may not be called vaccine police, but the Adult forced mandates are next. I mean herd immunity is priority number one, you know?

I can already see the steam pouring from people’s heads as they read this. Shaking heads that I have gone off the deep end. Well, I have certainly found myself in the deep end, but I am swimming and surviving. I know the laws, I know the facts, I know what’s coming. Unless you have been in the trenches like I have, obsessing over every minute detail of this law and the impacts that it has on ALL OF US, Please keep your opinions in check. You know not what you speak of and could never possibly teach me anything of your fear based propaganda. It is extremely unsettling that this is the blog info I have to share. It’s extremely unsettling that in a country that is as divided and destroyed as we are, that the general public would rather fall back on lies than believe the people who have been damaged by them, repeatedly.

Please, please, please, open your minds to this issue. Please understand that the 26000 children impacted by this are not choosing this to be rebels, or to endanger anyone. That is absolute lunacy. Our families are being ostracized, oppressed, discriminated against and cast out of society. It’s not a government and society vs the unvaccinated. Government will NEVER protect you, you already know this. Why continue to believe the corporation (And yes our government is a corporation) that lies and defames anyone who questions their decisions? What happens when it’s you that disagrees and you have no where to go?

The time of the people is now. We can no longer stand by and watch our own people be destroyed by the very same people we don’t trust, to entrust our safety and lives to begin with. Join me. Don’t be afraid to question and reject what doesn’t serve you. The government will always tell you how they feel the best way to live your life is, yet if you choose to not follow their plan, you’re done. THAT IS NOT AMERICA. THAT IS NOT FREEDOM. We now officially have the 1st, 2nd, and 14th amendment virtually decimated and cherry picked, which one will be next?

I will never yield. I will NEVER subject my child to a vaccine, ever. I will NEVER take a vaccine. I believe that medical freedom is medical freedom. You should ALWAYS have a choice With ANYTHING, let alone a medical procedure that comes with RISK. Vaccines come with risk. There is no debate on that. It’s in the PI in writing, in black and white. The Dtap (infanrix) vaccine has SIDS listed as an Adverse event. You cannot say you didn’t know when you didn’t research. It’s YOUR child, its YOUR life. The CDC has literally claimed that “testing vaccines on pregnant women would be unethical” which is why there are no studies of pregnancy and vaccine administration. YET- the CDC RECOMMENDS the flu shot and DTAP for pregnant women to “protect” their unborn child!! ….never been tested bc of ethics yet turn around and recommend for the same people it would be unethical to test in.- cdc. Is anyone else picking up on this INSANITY?

“History was written by men who hanged the hero’s” -Braveheart

“there is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers, than those of us who are willing to fall because we have learned how to RISE.” – Brene Brown

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

I wrote about paying attention to the little things in my life and tonight I literally did exactly that. I made the switch over to non-fluoride toothpaste a few years ago and have bounced between numerous brands, finally settling on my hands down favorite, Dr. Bronner’s peppermint toothpaste. I can’t recommend it enough. If you are unfamiliar with Dr. Bronner’s soap line, it’s important to be aware that all of the labels used have positive messages and quotes written in tiny print. I have never really spent time focusing on reading the print because I had to squint, and the second I couldn’t read a word, I gave up. I was content enough just knowing that the label had beautiful messages written in tiny font size.

With my 45 trips around the sun, I have come to accept that I finally need to get glasses. I haven’t been in denial of getting old and having crappy vision, I have just been lazy and procrastinating making the appointment to be seen. So note to self, make an eye appointment. As I grabbed the tube of toothpaste tonight I realized that for the first time, I was able to read this tiny print. (Not sure why tonight instead of any other day) So I read on, and I’m so glad that I did. Here was the beautiful, tiny printed message…

“To see to it that I gain and grow and give and give. Never to look behind me for an hour. Never to wait in weakness or walk in power. Always working, searching for more truth, more light. Always speaking, fighting for what I found good and right….” Ummmmmmm, THANK YOU Dr, Bronner! Who would have known such insight would have come from a tube of toothpaste? The side of the tube reads “ small minds decay, average minds delay, great minds teach, all one, today!” Dr. Bronner was a Jewish/German soapmaker that believed down to a visceral level that “We are all one or none”. Translating to his belief that we must realize our transcendent unity across religious or ethnic divides, or perish. What a genius. He took his master craft of being a 3rd generation soap maker and combined his passion for uniting and empowering people, for generations to be inspired from!! How awesome is that fine print??

I feed off of finding others who have suffered, triumphed and then shared so that growth can be seen and obtained by people finding themselves in similar situations. Dr. Bronner was the rising tide in his own time and made sure he could reach as many boats out there to rise with him for as long as his business lasts. That’s the BEST business model in my eyes, so kudos and many thanks to Dr. Bronner’s for making the next best thing to a dental cleaning as toothpaste and delivering it with such empowering and encouraging words!

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” – James Keller

So much love and respect.

Xo- e

My parents have engrained this saying into my head for as long as I can remember. “If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn’t, it never was.” I have always said that I believe in those words, but can recall numerous times I have failed to follow through with those words. I can remember thinking those words when trying to “rescue” wild animals, secretly hoping that the love I provided would be enough for them to come back to me as if we were in the cartoon Snow White. Well, I grew up and realized how important these words are when it comes to people.

I have a male friend that I have been extremely close to for 25 years. He and I met randomly on a vacation in Hilton Head when we were 16. We both lived in different areas in NY, and after our random encounter in Hilton Head, we never crossed paths again until A few years later when in college, we ran into each other at a bar, while I was visiting friends. Such a random encounter, which sparked the friendship that had been started and stopped equally as fast. We were both dating other people at the time and frankly were more platonic in our bond than anything else. We spent the next 20 years talking through our relationships, marriages, divorces, careers, families, everything. He was a male version of my bestie. He would be my “girlfriend” when it came to areas he was unfamiliar with. He coached me, he always held me accountable to my behaviors, and even when I disagreed with his views, I ALWAYS treasured them and him. He loved me as a person, not an object. He honored me through honest words and solace from the storms of life. We had an innate trust that was built on friendship and honor. I have true agape love for this man. We have a friendship that has waxed and certainly waned throughout the years, yet we have always maintained honor, respect and love for each other and each other’s individual lives. I never hid him from anyone I dated/married. I have always spoken openly of our friendship because I have nothing to hide from anyone regarding our relationship. He was not as forthright with his relationships and recently it came back to haunt me.

I reached out to my bestie buddy earlier this month to wish him a Happy Birthday. Usually when I text him or he texts me, we are both immediate to respond. This time was different. He didn’t respond. A few days passed and he still hadn’t responded. He happens to be a Trooper in another state, so when a large amount of time passes, I start to panic that maybe something happened to him and I just haven’t found out yet. All the fear and insecurities set in. Well, he finally did reach out. He didn’t mention a thing about his birthday, but he mentioned that he had met someone. Someone he believes is “the one”. I have heard this many times before, but usually we have numerous discussions about it and move on from there. Not this time. He continued on to say that he needs to tie up loose ends so he can move on with his life. I replied that I wasn’t sure what that meant. He explained that I was his loose end. This was all through text, so I chose not to react with anything other than this response. “I have never had an opportunity to truly say this to someone and truly mean it. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was. I love you enough to set you free. If I am holding you back from being truly free, then go in peace, knowing I love and support your decisions unconditionally.” I could tell by his reply that my response was not satisfactory, but it’s the truth. My friendship with him was and always will be based on agape love. Agape love is not of sexual nature, it is pure, it is selfless, it is the sacrificial love that voluntarily suffers inconvenience and discomfort for the benefit of another without receiving or expecting anything in return.

I closed my text to him knowing that I most likely will never hear from my dear friend again. I am at peace in believing in the power of agape love and respecting him enough to set him free. I will always be ready to welcome my friend back with opens arms if he returns. I feel lucky to have grown as a person because of his presence in my life. Freedom is freedom.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”- Dr. Seuss

I will forever smile.

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

Ooooookkkkk. It’s time to talk about the Pharma double standard. I am baffled at the logic and rationality behind the dichotomous behaviors that people project when it comes to the love/hate relationship with Pharma. Seriously, we loooooove to hate Pharma, and in the same breathe, hate to love Pharma. People looooove getting their instant band aid (drug) to an ailment, yet curse Pharma for charging a high cost for it. People looooove the opioids that Pharma produces and then hates them for the massive addiction epidemic. People cheer as Pharma is sued for corruption, price gouging, drugs that harm people, and ultimately held accountable. People loooove to look up how much Doctors make off of Pharma through the Sunshine Act and then complain about it yet still go to that doctor they believe is being “bought” by Pharma as their “healer”.

Being in the industry for almost 20 years, I can tell you that I have heard my fair share of people’s opinions on my job as a Pharma rep and the industry as a whole. First off, the majority of people think that the reason our drugs in the US cost so much is because we spend millions of dollars (as an industry) on buying lunches to persuade doctors to use our drugs. So much so that presidential candidates have based their campaigns on these exact issues and demand a disconnect between Pharma and doctors. The public becomes outraged as a whole that The majority of Americans cannot afford their insulin or epipen because Pharma is price gouging. The public becomes enraged with Pharma when thousands of people die from an anti inflammatory drug that they knew was unsafe before launching. We the people demand accountability from Pharma. We want answers as to why drugs cost so much in the US. We demand accountability from the FDA for approving a drug that killed 40000 people (that’s just one of hundreds of drugs that has been pulled from the approved market). We demand accountability from Pharma every single day. You can’t turn on the tv without seeing a lawsuit for a medication. I would bet that the number of drug law suit commercials is equal to the number of actual drug commercials.

Here is the double standard. How can anyone who is so forthright in demanding accountability from the Pharma industry, turn around and trust the same exact industry that oh by the way, is FOREVER IMMUNE from prosecution (because they were getting decimated with law suits from vaccine deaths and damages) that vaccines are safe and effective. Not because they have been tested in the same way every other single drug in Pharma has to be tested before approval, but because Pharma just says so. I am disgusted with the idea that while we the people become more and more divided and physically sicker, Pharma literally stays un-phased, ultimately grow and makes billions. Net-net, we the people all lose, we don’t get healthier, we just get sicker and Pharma wins.

Just a thought here. Why are we the people not demanding the clear separation of Pharma and state, all together? Why are we the people not DEMANDING that the 1986 law that gave Pharma legal immunity be abolished? If their products are so safe, why do they need complete immunity from any liability, ever? The people need protection, not the corporations. Why are we the people not uniting as one whole group of victims of Pharma throughout the years and saying enough? We don’t need to try and destroy the industry, we need to control it, not allow it to control us. We need to stop battling each other, and come together as a whole. We are all ultimately battling the same battle. Parents shaming parents is not the answer and it’s not empowering. People trusting the same people that they have condemned multiple times and then condemning others for questioning or rejecting mandatory administration is complete absurdity and hypocrisy in my eyes. All we are accomplishing is losing the same fight we are all trying to win. We the people can no longer accept censorship. We the people can no longer accept division. Always remember that “divided we fall”.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why” -Mark Twain

So much love and respect.

Xo -e

Floored. Grateful. Proud. Love. Unity. Power. Empathy. These are just some of the words to describe the experience I lived this morning. My whole family awoke with the sun this morning in preparation to head down to Albany to get a spot in line for the preliminary hearing. We arrived at 0830, and the line to enter the courthouse was already 1/4 of the way around the city block. As we stood all in white, together as one voice, we watched hundreds and hundreds of families coming in from every surrounding street. They all donned white clothes to show unity. We all stood with our hearts open as the Amish and Mennonites arrived. They stood across the street by themselves and I eagerly invited them to join us in line. They graciously accepted my offer and we began chatting. I asked where they had traveled from and one of the gentlemen replied that there were ten men that traveled from the Finger lakes. Numerous people in line thanked them for being present. As we all waited patiently for the courthouse to let us in, a gentleman from the front of the line came down to us and asked the Amish gentleman to please join them in the front of the line so they would actually get seats in the small courtroom. They graciously denied the offer at first, but the people only cheered them on in the idea. They were repeatedly honored. It was incredible. People paid no mind to the fact that there were thousands in line all wanting to hear something from the court, yet not one person objected to people cutting the line. Everyone stood and waited patiently and gently to enter.

To say the court was overwhelmed by the turnout is an understatement. One guard repeatedly spoke in awe of how in his 34 years as a court officer, he has NEVER seen people turn out like today. YESSSSSSSS. That fact alone is a history maker. People were smiling, and gentle and there was this incredible energy of peace and calm. I can personally attest to the fact that calm was not what I was feeling when I approached Eagle St. this morning. I am not sure I could ever truly put into words the feelings I continue to feel from this morning.

People were not screaming about autism. People were not screaming at all. We have lawyers to do that. Any noise created was out of applause for Robert Kennedy Jr and Michael Sussman. They are the hero’s battling for our freedom in the courtroom. However, the true hero’s were the thousands of families that skipped work to be present, to be seen and heard. The families who have trusted blindly and followed Dr’s orders, just to have it back fire and damage their children. People carried pictures and held them high of the casualties that this law has created. It was emotional to say the least to see mothers not physically holding their children, but their pictures, because now they are just a memory. THESE CHILDREN SHOULD NOT DIE IN VAIN. They should be honored and revered as the fallen. They are indeed the fallen ones, and their families are the living casualties. IT HAS TO END.

If anyone can actually believe that these families are making this up to spread fake news or junk science in order to empower others, you may need your pulse checked. You are either dead or just have no soul. I’m sorry, this is wrong. This isn’t about vaccines. This isn’t about “our bodies, our choice” this is about freedom. We should not have to ask permission from ANYONE at ANYTIME. Stop fearing true freedom. What we are living in is an illusion. This law doesn’t impact nearly enough people for the masses to understand that this impacts them exactly the same. What happens when something personally impacts you, and no one cares? This isn’t my first amendment, it’s OURS.

Time to put the people back in power. FEAR, GREED, POWER, CONTROL. Those are a few words that describe our current state of the union. Time to rise people. As my 5 and 3/4+ son says, “Let’s Gooooooooo!”

“Those people who tried to bury you didn’t know you were a seed”

Be the seed.

So much love and respect.

Xo -e

I needed to gather my composure to be able to write this blog entry. My better half and I made the trip down to Washington Park tonight for a candlelight prayer vigil on the eve of the Preliminary hearing in the morning. I plan on attaching a picture of the vigil although it will do no justice to the overwhelming feeling of being united in person.

I had only learned of the vigil earlier today and am usually not an attendee at these types of events. However, the second I saw this posted, I knew I would be there. It wasn’t even an option to not attend. I had so much excitement built up with hopes to network and meet other families impacted by this law. We arrived a few minutes early, a benefit brought only because of my better half! There were probably only around 60-70 people at that time and as dusk closed in, more and more and more people showed up. Children circled around passing out candles and pamphlets to follow. There was this beautiful sense of peace, everyone there was there with the same purpose and it was truly just absent of ego. I watched families pour in from all over the state, many with children whom have been vaccine damaged. I spoke with a family from Long Island that spoke of their younger son whom was VAERS certified autistic and has and IEP. He spoke of the services his son received not being available and how even the Superintendent of his school has been personally impacted by this law with his own children. I watched as adult children living with autism, self stimulated, and tried to be present with their families. I watched parents, grandparents and children of all walks of life come together. It was overwhelmingly beautiful.

I am starting to feel the ugly cry come on as I type. I cannot begin to describe the visceral reaction it gave me to be there. I had Hollywood like tears falling from my eyes that I had zero control over. I tried to keep myself composed, and failed miserably. I sobbed at the sight of now what had become easily 150 people standing united together. I sobbed at the thought that all of these different walks of have been impacted so heavily and just cast out of society. I sobbed at the idea that our country has been divided and misled so deeply that our human connection is numb. I sobbed that we are at a point in our country that we have to sue our own state to be able to have a choice. I know I must have been a spectacle to see standing in what is supposed to be a moment of peace and prayer. My tears were pure and uncontrollable. Conviction is so much more powerful than fear. I continue to find more and more conviction every single day. It comes through seeing how truth impacts my personal life, my girlfriend’s storms, and whenever a wrong has been made right.

All I can tell you is that I cannot and will not EVER stop. The tears will continue to flow, they release the poisons of the past and clear my eyes for the beauty of the future. I am ever so grateful to be vulnerable, and even more grateful to not fear being vulnerable. It changed my life.

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control of the outcome.” – Brene Brown

Here here, Brene. Prayers up for the freedom of choice to stand for the residents of NYS tomorrow. Prayers up for the beautiful and Innocent children that have been so ignorantly discriminated against. Prayers up that the insanity starts to end tomorrow. Prayers up that my convictions (aka tears) can take a back burner so I can be composed in the courtroom. Prayers up that accountability is shown tomorrow.

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

I write this entry with an insane amounts of personal excitement. Besides the weather being beyond perfect, I have watched and learned some things that have even made my arm hairs rise!

I have written in the past about watching my girlfriends go through their own ego deaths. Most recently, a girlfriend of mine had her marriage implode on her. It was a devastating blow for her and her husband. I was not surprised to hear that it had finally come to a head, as I had numerous conversations with her and His/her behaviors prior. None the less, the consequences to her clear minded and decided choices came back to haunt her. She sought me for empathy, to which I provided when appropriate. I was more concerned with acting as her mirror and doing my part as her friend to hold her accountable for her behaviors. She knew I did not agree with her choices prior to the implosion, and she walked into them with a clear yet self righteous mentality. I didn’t support it before, and I didn’t support it after. I’m not saying that I was mean to her, I wasn’t. She’s hurting on numerous levels and I don’t need to add to that. However, whenever a “but” entered her vocabulary or any type of self pity, I gently reminded her that she made these decisions of sound mind, knowing the consequences that could occur, and now she has to deal with them. It became quite clear to her that she was not prepared for the casualties. I agreed and encouraged her to stop making it about her, because that behavior is exactly what brought her to this place to begin with. She listened and even agreed with me and said “that’s fair”, followed by but….

I spoke with her today and was literally bouncing in my seat with excitement. She was like a new person from when I spoke with her last. She was explaining the progress through the storm she is in and she spoke so differently. She was not speaking from an “I or me” place unless it was taking accountability for her behaviors with zero “buts”. She was vulnerable and raw and unguarded and accountable. I am so proud of her self realizations. I have literally experienced the same things and know where it leads to (all good!) She spoke of feeling truly free from being accountable. She spoke words that literally have been in my head at times of like. I could not be more excited for her to keep growing. She’s learning that the ego she has carried and maintained and even perfected has been her demise. Keep going and growing sister(s). Bring your husband and family with you. You’re a natural leader and have a heart that is pure when not blinded by ego. I am so proud of your growth from vulnerability, let that heart shine and keep rising!

They say the small things in life are what really matter. I am starting to agree with that more and more everyday! Taking note of the smaller joys in life has allowed me to see the bigger picture in life more clearly, and it is AWESOME! The more I pay attention to the small things, the easier it gets with the bigger things. Seems like common sense but for some reason I can’t shake the fact that I’m not alone in letting the smaller things pass me by. I plan on continuing to pay attention to the smaller details as those are adding up very quickly to be the bigger things in my life.

“Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk losing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” -Brene Brown

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

How truer could a sentence be. It’s absolutely true. Obviously I follow and educate myself on every level of my new “reality”. I have been watching families crumble at how they have been treated by our elected officials for insisting on their “freedom” of choice and informed consent. It’s absolutely atrocious to witness the behaviors and words that have come flying out from our elected officials on social media. How you can say that you represent the very same people that you are destroying is beyond my comprehension. This entry was derived from a press release by An Assemblyman in NYC.

An Assemblyman by the name of Jeffery Dinowitz in NYC was a co-sponsor of the bill to end religious exemptions. I just learned that Phil Steck, who is out of Colonie , too, was co-sponsor of this hideous bill. Side note, Phil, please be expecting my call and followed visit, we need to chat.

So, in order to snow the public and yes, we have been snowed, Dinowitz called on the Siena Institute to gather the opinions of NY’ers. Obviously there always needs to be something for the public to jump on board with, so Siena conducted its poll and Dinowitz let the press run with the headlines that “ an overwhelming percentage of NY’ers support removing religious exemptions”. Dinowitz and his co-sponsors all jumped for joy publicly, even bragged about the high numbers of support, and basically acted as “told ya so, told ya so”.

WELL, WELL, WELL. Let’s have a chat about those high support numbers.

In 2012, the census showed that NY had almost 12 MILLION voters (7 years ago). The Siena poll that was conducted searching for the support of the new legislation was compromised of ONLY 700 registered voters. Ok, we know Siena doesn’t have the time or ability to reach the true majority of voters, so they take a sample size, survey and then report the results.

The disconnect here, is not that Siena is only able to capture a small voice of voters in this state. The PROBLEM is when our elected officials manipulate the data reported to sway the constituents. Let’s just break down this “overwhelming“ support number.

Siena institute reported 84% of NY Voters supported vaccinations for school and supported ending religious exemptions.

Siena poll interviewed 700 registered voters across the state.

NYS has over 12 MILLION voters.

The results of the opinions of said 700 voters only makes up 0.0000583% of the actual representation of NY STATE.

“0.0000583% of NY residents support the Dinowitz bill” doesn’t quite have the same appeal to gathering support. So, as in EVERY business, smoke and mirrors are deployed. Yes, there is some truth in what they are saying. 84% of the 700 people polled agreed (I have about 700 people in my linked in network, just for comparisons sake) However, 700 people cannot and will not ever provide a clear voice of the people of NY.

Perception is reality. We were all led to perceive that the mass majority (84%) of our fellow NY’ers were in full fledged support of this oppressive bill. When in real reality, it’s only 0.0000583% of NY voters who supported this bill, from this small poll. FYI- statistical significance is DEMANDED in science as to the relevance numbers play. I am attaching an incredible resource on “stat sig” as we like to short hand call it in Pharma. Let’s just say 0.0000583% is NOT statistically significant as the to the relativity that this represents the larger picture. I know 26000 families that would agree with me.

Read the small print. It’s there for a reason. Percentages are only relative to the sample size. The idea that this Assemblyman and his cohorts have led us all of to believe that these numbers are reality. When in actuality they are NOT.

The one thing I am confident in is that the politicians have always played the numbers. We all know this because we see it all the time. Here’s the problem. I AM SICK OF BEING PLAYED FOR A FOOL. I am sick of being lied to. NO, the mass majority of New Yorkers did NOT support this bill because the MASS majority of New Yorkers were not polled to begin with. We may not be able to change the reality happening, but we certainly still have the choice to change our perceptions.

ENOUGH.

“Do not underestimate the fire from within her, for she will burn your perception the the ground” – RH Fowler

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

https://www.surveysystem.com/signif.htm

Gah! I am either screaming at the tv while watching the latest Handmaids tale, or picking my jaw up off the floor from learning new information, or scratching my head in awe of how we truly live in opposite land. I can’t take credit for deeming our country that, it was no other than my trusted brud brud. My brother spoke of this a decade ago, and to my misfortune it has taken me up until recently to fully understand what he meant. I’m gonna break it down a little, because when you see it or learn it, you too will know why we call home, opposite land.

Vaccines. Oh vaccines. Your history is quite controversial. Here’s a little jog back to the year 1962, when John F. Kennedy signed the “vaccination assistance act of 1962. It was passed in 1963 and for 25 years the schedule remained virtually unchanged with 24 vaccines total for administration. At that point the schedule included smallpox, oral polio, DPT, and a measles vaccine. This didn’t go over well with the the public because guess what? Kids were dying and becoming damaged and jury’s were awarding substantial awards from the damages people received from the vaccines. Enter 1986, when Ronald Reagan passed The National Childhood Immunization injury act. This was passed in result of the 4 major vaccine manufacturers at the time threatening to stop producing vaccines bc of massive law suits they were receiving from people who were damaged. Yes, vaccines can and do damage people. So the government intervened upon the recommendation of good ol’ Dr. Stanley Plotkin (of course) and in result, granted immunity (how appropriate) for ANY manufacturer, distributor, administrator of vaccines from any legal recourse for damages inflicted by vaccines. So, now we the people have no legal recourse as the recipients of these vaccines- ever (thank you congress for placing corporations over people) The DOJ (dept of justice) said ok, we will set up a fund that is driven off of a .75$ tax on every vaccine given, that will be awarded to vaccine injured people, enter VAERS (vaccine adverse event reporting system) and NVICP (national vaccine injury compensation program). Government (HSS/CDC) which is funded via the Pharma companies that are now immune from prosecution, decides wether or not a person is injured by the vaccine of not. To date, there has been over 4 billion dollars awarded to people damaged by vaccines. It’s a fact. (VAERS database) FOUR BILLION DOLLARS in damages. Ready for the bomb to drop? Only 1% of vaccine injuries are reported to VAERS, and then deemed if they are worthy enough for compensation. OH! Just for the sake of relevance of these program today, here are some facts. Merck, the manufacturer of the MMR vaccine made half a billion in one quarter due to the “measles outbreak”. During the same three month time span, the NCVIP has paid out over 110 million dollars in vaccine damages. So net-net, a quarter of the “profits” made from the same “safe and effective” vaccines, have been paid out to people damaged by said “safe and effective” vaccines. RIIIIIIGHT. Seems totally safe to me, said no one ever realizing the correlation.

Worthy enough for compensation from damages that the government confirmed as vaccine related, which damaged the person whom was mandated to take the vaccine that damaged them by the very same government.

Quite a mouthful, I know. That’s because it is. It’s off the chain, INSANITY. We are going to mandate you to take something that we acknowledge is “undeniably unsafe” (that quote is directly from the US Supreme Court) that we have verified and awarded 4B$ out to people with damages from these forced “undeniably unsafe” medications, but you need to trust us that these are safe and effective. Vaccines don’t harm. Pay no mind to the wizard behind the curtain paying people out for damages that vaccines don’t cause. Yes, thousands upon thousands of parents who brought their perfectly healthy and happy children in for wellness checks, end up dead (SIDs 🙄), begin having febrile seizures, the most terrifying high pitched screams that last for hours and sometimes days (that’s the brain becoming inflamed from dtap, aka the “The Dtap scream”), they are all crazy (or dubbed a conspiracy theorist) to think that just hours after their child’s vaccinations that it’s just a random chance their child has fallen ill or died. NO ITS NOT. That’s lunacy. How are we the most medically advanced country in the world, yet we lead the world in SID’s deaths? We can’t figure out how to keep our babies from “randomly” dying in their sleep? <insert cough>, uh yes we most definitely can. We can stop acting as if vaccines are harmless. We know they are major risks associated with them that can result in tragic outcomes. It’s printed in black and white in their own PI (product insert, every drug must have a product insert). We know they are harmful because 4$billion has gone somewhere. We need to stop being afraid to question these extremely important issues.

I have seen multiple memes that compare car seats to vaccines. Shaming people who choose not to vaccinate that they are putting their child at the same risk of not using a car seat. I get it. This is my question, as it is for thousands of others. Would you trust putting your child into a car seat where there has been no extensive safety tests and the manufacturer or installer of that car seat could never be sued if ANYTHING happens to your child while in it? And oh by the way, you would be choosing to put your child in this car seat for the safety of the greater good (public health) because it’s the LAW. That is exactly what you are expecting parents to do with blindly following orders to take a vaccine. You are eliminating a persons right to choose. It doesn’t matter if you agree with their decision or not, it’s still their right to choose. We all now have the freedom to have a full term abortion in NYS. I saw a billboard today that said we are lucky to have the reproductive freedom act. Freedom of healthcare is crucial. RECORD SCRATCH PLEASE. Welcome back opposite land. We are allowed to have the freedom of our right to end a child’s life, but we are not allowed to have the freedom to try and safeguard them once we have decided to keep a child? Baffled is an understatement.

BREATHE. Ok. I mentioned screaming at the tv watching the Handmaids tale. I promise I’m not going to ruin the latest episode, but holy lord, let’s just say the rise has begun. I know it’s tv, but the parallels are similar in the fight for the truth and freedom, so my viewing was visceral. I love to see wrongs being ended, truths being revealed. It is exactly what I am striving for here in opposite land. I know there are so many people that just don’t know. People are taught that vaccines are good and people who don’t take them are bad. We are never told why, and when we question it we are shamed and shunned for questioning physicians. The same physicians who just like us, have been told What vaccines to give, not why. Here’s the schedule, administer them. End of story.

It’s just never gonna end until people start saying enough. It doesn’t mean the end of vaccines and it certainly doesn’t mean the beginning of diseases of our forefathers. It’s fear mongering and bullying at its finest. I am sick of opposite land. It’s time for our reality to rise and rule.

“It’s the ones who are against you, that believe in your power the most.” – unknown

So much love and respect.

Xo -e

I received an email from my Da this morning. He has forwarded me a daily “blog” entry from one of his morning readings. It spoke of being offended and forgiveness. Two opposing forces that are deal breakers in their own right for a lot of people.

I can speak to soooooo many opportunities in my personal life and career where I have either been offended or could have chosen to be offended. I say this as I have worked along side Doctors for 20 years. I have had more disgusting comments, inuendos, blatant invitations, jokes, and even physics advancements thrown at me, I could probably write a book. I know Doctors that literally tried to make reps uncomfortable through offensive language and behaviors. They priced themselves on seeing a grown woman run out of the office with tears bc she was so offended. I have no doubt that anyone reading this is already offended just by processing this.

It stinks, it’s real, it’s everywhere. Let’s face it though. Hurt people, hurt people. There is far too much hurt in this world to think that in some way, the person we are interacting with has been hurt or wronged, and still carries the burdens of those wrongs. It is almost normal to hear people say hurtful things, because we carry those pains instead of releasing or blocking them the next time. WHY? Well personally, I think it all goes back to fear. Fear of rejection, fear of criticism, fear of retaliation, fear of persecution, fear of isolation, I could go on forever. FEAR IS A LIAR. We project situations in our heads and decide that is what will happen before they even do. We have allowed fear to consume us so much that we actually end up manifesting the fear into situations it has no business in to begin with.

This is a bit of a ridiculous example, but it has worked for me consistently and repeatedly. I don’t really get offended. I am crass, I am juvenile with what makes me laugh, I can throw down with the best of them, BUT there are a few words in the English language that just give me a physical reaction. The word “moist”. Some shudder after reading this and some think, mmmm, I love a moist piece of cake.OOOOOKKKKK. Enough with the moist. Why have I allowed such a simple word to physically impact my body when said or heard? That’s insanity! My two youngest munchkins love to torture me with this inside knowledge. They team up on me and will plant “moist” into random conversations just to try and make me squirm or react. After numerous attempts that became both annoying and well, annoying, I screamed out “force field”. They both laughed at me as if I could really have a force field, but I did. I pretended to draw an invisible line around my body as if it were my own force protection. I vowed that never again would they be able to get me to react on any level when moist was mentioned because I had instilled my own force field. To this day, they will try and throw me off with using moist repeatedly, but I have stood strong and never yielded. And then of course in my best Yoda impersonation I turn to them and say “The force is strong with this momma, your words no longer bother me”. They of course get embarrassed by my utterly cool impression of Yoda and walk away.

Obviously my story of “moist” is not comparable to the repeated and ridiculous offenses that the world dishes out on the reg. At the end of the day though, we all have the ability to create our own force field. It can start with moist, and move to bigger offensive things to be blocked. At the end of the day if we allow the world’s “offenses” to burden and even cripple us, it will continue. What we allow will continue. I have stopped allowing hurt people to hurt me. I recognize I have been a hurt person and will be again I’m sure. The difference now is that I can recognize my own hurt so I don’t hurt others.

“it all begins in your mind, what you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it”

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

Ok people. If you have not already watched “The Great Hack” on Netflix, make it happen. It’s something I knew very little about when it came to the insanely deceptive and devious world of data mining and individualized propaganda and marketing. I knew that Facebook had been involved in releasing it’s members privacy information (which included me at the time). Which I was alert to for about 5 seconds and then just didn’t pay attention. I knew there had been some collusion surrounding the 2016 elections, Russia, and more divisive topics.

This documentary is CRAZY. Cambridge Analytica was no doubt doing devious and completely invasive individualized targeting that Facebook contributed to aid in persuading individuals in swing states to vote in favor of the republicans. Ok, I can hear so many people I know in my head saying, See! The Republicans were behind this! NO. This is beyond political parties. They just were in the spotlight for taking advantage of this opportunity. Deceptive no doubt. However! This is not democratic or republican because Cambridge Analytica was only one of many companies that data mine every single person they deem viable for the outcome they seek. These companies are buying our personal data and then seeking out political figures all over the world, pitching to them that because they possess 5000 data points on every single voter, they can help win elections. They have videotapes and a book that speak about creating apathy amongst the masses, creating fake news to sway opinions and literally cause a divide amongst the people. They show videos of how they were able to get results across numerous countries. Some of the sway and influence that Cambridge Analytica provided involved and resulted in mass genocides. They created propaganda influencing the Latino youth of Trinidad and Tobago that voting is stupid and to boycott voting, which resulted in the entire Latino youth to refrain from voting reducing the possible number of votes, thus allowing the opposing party to win the election. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS HAPPENING. (I’m sorry, I don’t think hell is technically a swear word though.)

Data mining is literally considered a weapon of mass destruction and it is being done every second of every day, and the worst part is, we are literally VOLUNTARILY giving it to them. Every survey you take is strategic and directed for YOUR input. YOU have been targeted because you fit the profile they seek to influence. Let’s face it, there are some people who love those types of things (which I happened to be one of) and some who refuse to participate in volunteering any more info than needed. I used to love looking for the quiz in Cosmo, answering all the “what type of woman are you?” type surveys in the fashion mags, so it was only natural for me to want to jump into some surveys that popped up in my Facebook feed and volunteer my personal responses, which in turn profiled me for companies to show me what they had specifically for me, based on what they bought from someone who sneakily obtained my personal info. Does this crap sound crazy to anyone else? I mean, it’s crazy smart, but crazy shady too. I knew this was happening, but when this is as blatant and shady and has zero positive intent other than to use deceitful psychology to influence you for money. I seriously threw up in my mouth, a little.

The sad part to me is, this isn’t anything new. This news is not shocking, so many people have seen and known about this forever. I just learn more and more and my repeated question is, regardless of the the topic is “ when is enough, enough?” Seriously, we are being duped, then told we are crazy when we try to reject being duped again, we have the wealthiest and some of the most “prominent” figures from around the world involved with just beyond fridiculous behaviors, media giants that battle each other that literally cause a divide amongst us. Fox/NBC, NPR/Info wars, the list of getting the masses to battle each other is the end goal. It’s spoken about publicly and repeatedly.

I don’t think that taking on the giant evils (Pharma, tech, oil, Agriculture) that are amassing is the solution to all these disgusting events occurring before our eyes. After all, the majority of us are the reason they are as big and powerful as they are. We own stock in companies, we support them through brand loyalty etc. We helped create these monsters, so we have to be the ones who reign them back in. I think the solution is talking to each other about this. Not as a divider, but together scratching our heads, saying this isn’t right. I’m not suggesting rash decisions of dumping stocks, or boycotting industries. I am suggesting that instead of sitting down and allowing the corporations to teach the class to us, we all put our hands on our desks and stand up. We stand up and say, NO. We’re done being guinea pigs. Medically, technologically, psychologically, everything. We do NOT serve corporations, we do not have to tolerate shady and deceitful behavior as the norm, we do not have to accept the idea that we are beholden because we are told so. It’s all an illusion, it’s not real. They speak about it numerous times in this documentary. We have everything to lose (and already are) by continuing to acknowledge and condone these normalized illusions.

This is a definitely a purge blog. Watching this documentary left me with my jaw dropped. I am disgusted that this has been and still is happening, and I’m even more disgusted that I have and still do contribute to this continuing. I DON’T WANNA ANYMORE!! I’m out! I quit! Check fail. Game over. Peace. I don’t want to have my child grow up thinking that spying, lying, cheating, psychological warfare, scandals, deception, propaganda is what is acceptable and normal , because it’s NOT. It never will be, it literally destroys and divides, it’s INSANE. How will the next generations ever have a chance at personal freedoms when we continue to allow them to be eroded before our eyes and willingly contribute?

I don’t suggest to have the answers on any level other than me, myself and I. I can only choose to stand my ground as firmly as possible. I reject fear, I reject being censored, I reject being used deceptively or blatantly, and I REJECT having my free will to have a choice eliminated.

So much love and respect.

Xo -e

I know that anyone who was born before September 11, 2001 immediately has a memory attached to this blog title. “Never forget”. How many times have you seen this quote on a sign, number sticker, graffiti, news headlines? I will never forget anything about 9/11/01, and I will never forget the insane community of a country of humans that rose in result of that day. I will never forget the unprecedented empathy that so naturally flowed from enemies, there was this moment in time where strangers were randomly kind to each other, there seemed to be this eerie yet gentle energy amongst people. We watched the elected officials publicly attempt to lead us to unite through “bipartisan” blah blah blah..It wasn’t the elected officials that led anything, AT ALL. The eerie yet peaceful feeling was driven through the human spirit. It was driven through the explosive vulnerability that was forced upon all of us to expose, and we watched people crumble to their most vulnerable places and we watched as strangers gathered to comfort and help build back up. The force of empathy that surged was impossible to stop. We all ROSE. We rose for the loss of life, we rose for the injustices unwillingly cast upon us, we rose united as one. Not because of the ridiculous idea of politics, if anything, once the politics and politicians had allowed us to take a breath, the divide amongst the people resumed, and we forgot. We never forget that hideous day, the events that occurred, and what was to follow. We forgot that at the end of the day, it wasn’t our government who led us into unity, it was just us. We know what to do. We are designed to do it. The power of the most inner human spirit, that we all possess, it was led us to rise.

It provides me with such hope and faith in our human spirits. We have been dealt the crappiest of hands when it comes to fear. It’s everywhere. It’s our normal. We expect fear in places it has no business. What an incredible resume fear has! Diabolically evil and destructive, yet we allow it to rule as the norm. I will never forget 9/11/01 and the days that followed, not because of what I was told, but because of the way I felt. Those feelings of empathy were felt viscerally, and still are. Those are in every single one of us. those are the memories that we should never forget, because those were and always will be, the true driver of change. So, power to the people! We know what to do.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” -maya angelou

Never forget.

So much love and respect.

Xo-e

(William Shakespeare)

I ran across this quote and it literally stopped me in my scrolling. I read it once, then again, and have continued to read it. Every time I read it, I get a physical feeling of uneasiness. That’s pretty powerful. I feel uneasy because I am able to relate this to too many public figures, organizations, people I actually know and too many to count that I don’t. With all the information I have been exposed to, I feel like we may have a version of hell on earth happening in present time, because there are devils EVERYWHERE. I’m sure people have been feeling like it has been hell on earth for them for a long time, and I feel more responsible now for not acknowledging or being more empathetic to those feelings.

In my journey, I came across a legal deposition of Dr. Stanley Plotkin. He and Dr. Paul Offitt are considered the “Godfathers” of vaccines. They discuss how each of them receive patent royalties on the rubella vaccine, and receive royalties from numerous other Pharma funded organizations that all are pro-vaccine, and ultimately describe how it all ends up back in their pockets through one various channel or another. Sorry, that was a small tangent that needed to be included. I’m not being deposed, so tangents may happen! Ok, back to this 9 hour long deposition. I have been listening to it on my daily runs up and down 87, so I am still only 4 hours into it, but HOLY LORD. It doesn’t take long into the deposition to clearly understand the why and how behind the vaccine movement. I have listened to this man plead numerous times, how he never did this for the money. He truly believes what he has done and continues to do is right. I want to believe that at some point in his career he did truly want to help people, but as I continue to listen, he gives clear examples of how his actions, attitudes and decisions are clearly no longer in line with helping anyone but the movement that allows him to forget his income. He continually dismisses the idea that he knows how much money he has and continues to make off the sales of every single MMR shot, as he invented one of the components. He stands as the extremely well compensated advisor (multi millions) to every single one the big 4 vaccine manufacturers, he serves as the oversight committee for the decisions of what vaccines are needed, mandated, distributed. He is compensated through the Government, which in turn is compensated through Pharma. There is no secret that The Pharma Lobby has 2 lobbyists for every single representative and has double the “budget” of big oil. That alone says something. Regardless of believing in the circle of funding, believe that there is a very clear conflict of interest. The very same people in charge or mandating vaccines and dictating what should be injected into your child and yourself, are the same people that are literally getting paid with every vaccine administered. THAT IS A FACT. Listen to the legal deposition if you don’t believe me, I get it. That’s why I am listening to it. There is something very fishy here. It doesn’t have to do with safety, it has to do with an industry that was given legal immunity to any liability from retaliation from vaccine damages, that then in turn funds the very governing decision makers what should be universal and FORCED. NOT OK. NOT EVER.

I know that so many people are defensive about vaccines. I get it. I understand the fear of speaking aloud about controversial topics. People don’t like divides, we aren’t created that way, so being able to speak about vaccines or abortion or whatever controversial issue you want, is scary because people get defensive and will attack. That’s never fun. But neither is being lied to and then told you’re crazy for questioning being lied to. I guess I just wish more people could see the bigger picture, because it is very clear. There are too many conflicts of interest happening in our country. It’s not just vaccines, it’s food, it’s booze, it’s everywhere. WHY are we continuing to allow what and who we KNOW has not and will not serve us?I’m sure as I forage through the torturous yet insanely educational deposition, I will have more to purge. No more fear. No, nay, never. It’s beyond time to rise.

So much love and respect.

Xo-e